"It is dangerous to trust others arbitrarily just because the word Christian
precedes the audience’s intended purpose."
The following verse is tricky, mainly because a sincere repenting heart that knows that they have sinned or done wrong to someone may be driven to confess the sin they have committed in an inappropriate manner. It is to whom you confess your sin that requires clarification.
“Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.”
This verse does NOT say to confess your sins to just anyone, or everyone. People who mean well will say that getting it “off your chest” will “help” you onto the path to doing what is right. Even redemption! But those words, as good and fluffy as they sound, are dangerous and does not line up with scripture. Even confessing to other Christians or people of position in the church is wrong if they're not directly involved with the offense, or in authority. (1 Timothy 2:5; Matthew 18:15-17)
God’s requirement is that you make things right with the individual you have offended, and that person alone. The goal of your confession is to receive forgiveness from the one you hurt. Not to let something off your chest confessing to others, or receive validation from them. Do you really need someone else to tell you when you have done wrong? Validation from either a friend, a support group, or a pastor? Telling others what wrong(s) you have done to another shares private things not just of yourself, but divulges private matters of the individual you hurt. No one has the right to do that without consent, especially sins of a deeply personal and sensitive nature. It is dangerous to trust others arbitrarily just because the word Christian precedes the audience’s intended purpose.
The Lord Jesus said:
“Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”
God is very strict about this, even going so far as resisting you. (James 4:6) He will not accept your offerings, or good deeds done in His or His Son’s name, if you put off confessing your sin to the ones you have offended. God sees your heart. Nothing is hidden before Him. (Hebrews 4:12) And confessing your offense to Him does not let you off the hook. Before you go to church and give offerings, God says, “Stop! Turn around, go make things right first." God will resist you, maybe even correct you. (Proverbs 3:12)
The Lord Jesus said:
“Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.”
The key words are, “to him alone”. Confessing your sins to someone that is a good listener, or a best friend who you trust with your life, is inappropriate. Not even to a pastor. They're human too and can fall to using that information incorrectly. Support group confessions are wrong. Your loose lips may even open the doors to gossip, which will have started because of your indiscretion, no matter how sincere it’s intent. For there are some so-called Christians that instead of professing the Gospel of Christ from the rooftops , are whisperers yelling from the rooftops other people’s sins. (Proverbs 16:28; Romans 1:29, 2 Corinthians 12:20)
You, and only you, must go make it right with the person you’ve offended, and that person alone. Do you need validation of your wrongdoing? Receive it from God through prayer. Your conscious will bear witness, if not the Holy Spirit if you have received Him. (Romans 2:15; Romans 8:27) If you go and the person you hurt accepts your apology, at a minimum, leave in peace and with a thankful heart towards God. Pray God accepts your act of confession to the one you hurt and heals both you and that individual.
Do that, and watch healing begin to enter both of your lives. Do that, and watch your offerings and acts of goodness left previously at the altar now be accepted by God, with Him making your offering bear much fruit.
God bless you in Christ Jesus the Lord, always.
* Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
* Article itself Copyright © 2020 by WordwaswithGod.com
* Links to verses provided by BibleGateway.com